At the End of the Evening

The last of the day's sunlight wanes and I sit and watch night descend on my little patch of woods in my backyard.  The warmth of the day remains but the edge is taken off and I know it won't be long until the air cools to some degree.  It is the most magical time of the summer day for me and it never ceases to enthrall me.

The birds have finished their supper at the bird feeder and their evensong is over.  All begins to quiet now; the backyard is peaceful and still. Before the darkness takes totally over, the fireflies come out for their nightly ritual and produce a light show.  I have taken up the habit of waiting in anticipation for the precise moment when I spy the first blink of a lightening bug, soon to be followed by perhaps hundreds more.  If I am inside, the lights in the kitchen/breakfast area are switched off and I watch the big picture window as intently as I would a movie screen at a theater.  Outside on the patio provides better viewing, except for the mosquitoes, but I can ignore this distraction when there is magic to be seen.  The first flicker occurs, followed by another and another and another and then the whole woods seem to come alive with the rising of the fireflies from their dormant state, hidden in the ivy and shrubs sleeping during the heat of the day.  At times, they seem to have a hypnotizing rhythm and turn their lanterns on and off in sync, only to change and create a randomly delightful production.  After about fifteen or twenty minutes, give or take a few, the blinking reaches a crescendo and begins to taper off until one by one the fireflies extinguish their flashing beacons as the darkness deepens and slides into the official nighttime. A stray critter may occasionally give a blink like the late guest at a party, not wanting to stop the celebration, but eventually even those last minute revelers give over to the sweet night and the stars in the summer sky.....  It is truly the fairy lights of the summer and I don't want to let a day go by without watching, even though life intervenes and some days do not cooperate with this nocturnal ritual.

Add to my bucket list the desire to go to Elkmont, Tennessee  near Gatlinburg in the Great Smoky Mountains in early June.  At that time in Elkmont, thousands of fireflies are known to blink in unison.  There is a similar occurrence in Congaree National Park located near Columbia, South Carolina.  But for now, I will have to be content with my own private firefly theatrics in my backyard, which is just fine.

Last week, as we were watching out the picture window from the kitchen table at the end of dinner in total darkness, my husband asked me what fireflies eat.  I answered with the first thing that popped into my head: "starlight and sunlight".  Which is a pretty darn good answer, in my opinion.  I hope you get to watch the fireflies of the summer at some point this season, even if only for a moment, and ponder the wonders life hands to us freely and unabashed.  Enjoy!

"What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.”~ Crowfoot, Blackfoot Warrior

One Year Blog Anniversary!

 Well, well......since the nasty fall I took hiking Memorial Day weekend which resulted in three stitches in the mouth and a hurt arm, as well as a very busy schedule last weekend,  I haven't done much writing. It was this past weekend I began to realize that my arm wasn't healing and I was feeling way too much pain.  Although I had it X-rayed the same day I fell, the film revealed nothing. But most people know when something isn't right.... So off I went to the orthopedic doctor on Monday, had the arm X-rayed again and, lo and behold, the arm IS broken.  I am now sporting this horrendous looking splint wrapped in Ace bandages from the base of my fingers to my shoulder on my left arm.  It even has a name - a long-tailed gutter splint or a posterior arm splint. This contraption is not very conducive to typing, thus I haven't posted anything this week.

This isn't my arm, but you get the idea! Now add bandages wrapped from tip to top!

Today I realized that my One Year Anniversary of Late to the Party was June 3rd!  A whole year of blogging...WOW!  I can hardly believe it and I have barely scratched the surface of what I want to write about!  Thanks a million to all of you who read it! 

Once I have this bloody splint off (I say "bloody" figuratively, not literally - maybe "blasted" is a better word), then I can do a giveaway to mark the occasion!  Just bear with me for a couple of more weeks until I can type using both hands and don't have to use the pecking system with one in able to write a couple of sentences.  This is exhausting!  Be looking forward for that and the Pay It Forward I owe still.

Winner of the Chocolate Giveaway for 50 Followers!

Finally!  I had every intention to draw a winner on Tuesday, but my little accident on the hiking trail put me slightly behind.  To prepare for the drawing, I printed off EVERY single comment made on the any post since I had started the blog, as well as each of my followers.  Then I folded each one and had Mr. Ed, the hubby, draw a name tonight. 

Drum roll, please.....the winner is Debbie of Love the Decor!  Congratulations, Debbie, and thanks so much for being a faithful follower and a great friend out there in Blog Land!  Some of you might remember that I "met" Debbie through a swap.  She was my partner and sent me such lovely things.  Oh, and today is her birthday!  How cool is that?  Just a coincidence,  or God-incidence!  Happy Birthday! Chocolate is on its way, Debbie!

Looking toward the future, I will be announcing another giveaway soon.  Before I do that I need to follow through on my Pay it Forward commitment and that will be coming possibly next week, so stay tuned.  As for all of you who follow Late to the Party and comment and encourage me, thank you so very much.  Stick with me and see what is coming just around the corner!

June Word of the Month - Insanity and The Art of Saying "NO!"

It's been a while since I have written anything about my PAB - translated to Pain in the Ass Buddy - in fact, almost a year.  You can read my first post about my PAB from last year here.  For those closer to me, you know I am referring to my battle with Rheumatoid Arthritis.  For some reason I always seem to capitalize those words when they really shouldn't be.  Maybe I should stop; maybe it gives the disease too much power that way.  Hmmm.....let me ponder on that one....

To continue, before I knew I had RA, I was continually taking on more than I could handle and then paying for it with hurting knees, elbows, neck, as well as low grade fevers, being unable to sleep because the pain intensifies at night.  People were constantly asking me to do this or that and sometimes I brought it on myself by volunteering my services before thinking about the effort it would require.  Holidays were bittersweet.  I have a tendency to cram so much into preparing that by the time a holiday comes around, I am to the point of taking to the bed with the RA flaring out of control. RA flares can be really bad and brought on by stress or trauma or not enough rest and sleep.  Of course, I didn't know why I was hurting so badly because I hadn't been diagnosed yet.

Then along came the answer.  Rheumatoid Arthritis.  For most people who receive that diagnosis, there is a lag between hearing it and the brain and body to comprehend what it means.  So after I was diagnosed, I carried on as usual, or tried to is more like it.  I didn't know how to say "no".  If my children wanted to come for a visit, that was fine even though I might be struggling just to walk.  Someone needed help with a crafty project or event?  YES!  My new house was CLEAN, the floors tended to weekly, if not daily.  So what if mopping the floors vigorously made my elbow and shoulder so sore I couldn't move it the next day?  It HAD to be done and done immediately! Vacuum and dust constantly?  YES!  Bake a special dessert for a function at work and stay up way past midnight to get it done?  YES!  Coordinate the craft projects for our senior citizens holiday project and do so much work prepping and constructing to the point of exhaustion?  YES!  Spend days on preparing for a cook-out or some other type of entertaining at our home? YES!  Shop and wrap and cook and carry on all the family traditions at Christmas? YES!  My repertoire was endless; my energy wasn't.  I wasn't to the acceptance phase yet.  But what is the saying?  "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." So true, so true......

I'm not quite sure at what point in this RA journey I finally accepted the fact that I cannot do what I used to do and be able to function daily.  I do know it was several years past the original diagnosis and once again I  had overtaxed myself and I was in bed with a flare, the kind of flare that feels like there is a crazed mad-man stabbing me with a hot poker in my shoulder, the type of flare that renders me and my affected joint(s) immovable because to do so there is pain so intense it makes me cry out loud.  Only a Prednisone steroid dose-pack and lots of painkillers will do the trick of easing up the pain, but the exhaustion lasts for days longer.  Like a smack up side the head, as we Southerners say, it hit me that something had to give and if it didn't, it was going to be me -  in a wheelchair.  And I wasn't going there, in my head or in real life, no way, no how.  Message received and delivered. And that is how I added the word "NO!" to my vocabulary.

"Learn to say 'no'.  It will be of more use to you than to be able to read Latin."~ Charles H. Spurgeon

 

It is a hard thing to do, this reprogramming your head.  I have always been programmed to assist, work hard, do what it takes, give 100+%.  To turn people down when they ask for help or a favor is running the risk of disappointing them or losing their approval, at least I thought.  More importantly, I had to learn to deal with my own disappointment.  Would I lose my friends' and family's love?  No, but would they understand?  It was hard for them at first, too, I grant you that.  This was a role neither they, or I, were used to or comfortable with. To their credit, after some adjustments to be sure, they have all stepped up to the plate, "manned up", and have eased my burden, which means less stress and wear and tear on me physically and mentally, which means fewer and less severe flares.

The funny thing is, the more I learn to say "no", the easier it gets.  At the holidays, our family has kept many of our traditions, but some we've let go of.  And you know what?  It's all okay. In fact, it's fine.  We concentrate on enjoying each other more, laughing and doing things together, instead of just doing because that what we've always done before.  I don't cook like I used to; neither do I clean constantly.  Time is short and I have learned that cleaning my floors every two weeks or even once a month is just fine!  Dust is a protective covering for our furniture, my older sister once told me, and she is so right!  I don't let the house become nasty but if the towels are folded tomorrow instead of today, I have the right to put it off.  I give myself permission to go have fun first!  The chores and household duties will still be there the next day or the day after; the chance to go play with grandkids or Ed or friends may not!  Seize the day!

When I stand before my Maker and am asked, "Did you take the time to enjoy life?  Did you make memories with your grandkids?  Did you do what you could to spend GOOD time with your family and friends?  Or did you keep a clean house, do too much, and had to lie in bed while everyone else was enjoying life?", I know what I want to answer!

Saying "no"...... what I thought was going to be terrible and awful has become a blessing.  Who knew that such a little word could be so empowering, so freeing, so rewarding?

So, to my friend Gail, who just yesterday got her diagnosis of RA, take heart!  There is life out there even with such a PAB!  Do yourself a favor and learn to say "NO" now.  It is the best medicine you can ever give yourself and the best gift you can give your family.  I know it doesn't seem that way at the moment, but trust me...and your instincts.... and make "NO" a part of your vocabulary today and live a glorious life!


"Learn to say 'no' to the good so you can say 'yes' to the best."~ John C. Maxwell

Marco Polo!

MARCO!  

Blog Land is so fun!  Playing a game of blog Marco Polo.....come see what it's about here!

The Best Laid Plans

 "The best laid schemes of Mice and Men oft go awry,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain, For promised joy!" ~ Robert Burns

Yesterday was....well...."the best of times,...the worst of times", to quote Charles Dickens.

On Friday, it had dawned on me that we had not done any hiking since our trip to Hot Springs, NC, last October and I have been itching to hit the trails.  While I can't afford a weekend jaunt to North Carolina (or even to North Georgia, for that matter) there is a great place to hike within about 45 minutes from where I live south of Atlanta.

The Pine Mountain Trail, located within FDR State Park in Pine Mountain, Georgia, is 20 plus miles of well-maintained hiking trails with some great loop trails that a person can hike for a few hours.  Our plans are to eventually hike all the PMT and its loops.  So, on Friday, the urge to hike - anywhere, anyplace -  got to me and off to WallyWorld Ed and I went to buy items for our picnic lunch, Cliff bars, bugspray and sunscreen.  The plan was in motion and our daughter, Gabe, and her two of the Fab 5, Olivia and Carson, accepted our invitation to go with us.  Yippee....Hiking here we come!

Saturday dawned bright, beautiful and HOT!  We loaded the car, swung by and got the "kids" and off we went.  I was STOKED!  Our hiking plans were to start out on the Wolfden Loop of the PMT, a route that would take us by some small waterfalls, beaver dams, and yes, a wolfden location from long ago when there were actual wolves in Georgia.  We left it to be decided if we would go a couple of miles in on the trail and then backtrack for a 4 mile hike OR to do the whole loop trail for a total of 6.7 miles if we felt up to it.  Either way, this trail loop is considered moderate to difficult and we all agreed that we were up for the challenge.

We got to the parking lot at the northeast end of the PMT.  There were several cars already parked at the location, which has concrete picnic tables where we planned to eat our packed lunches.  Just as we were leaving the parking lot area,  a caravan of five cars pulled in.  The trail was going to be busy, it seemed, but afterall, this was Memorial Day weekend and families were out doing family things, just like us.  This group had babies, toddlers, kids, moms and dads and grandparents, too.  It was nice to see others taking advantage of this little jewel of a state park in the middle of Georgia.

So off we went.

Carson, having just turned 8 last week and a new member of the Boy Scouts, took off in the lead.

We walked and walked and walked, up hill, down hill, past the promised waterfalls, over creeks, though soggy areas and dusty, rocky stretches and through some very bad tornado damage, then up a particular long uphill section and we made it to our turning back point.  We had done 1.6 miles.  Now we had to decide whether to backtrack to the parking lot for a total of 3.2 miles or go the entire 6.7 miles for the whole Wolfden Loop trail. Remember that hiking in that environment is not like walking 3 or 6 miles.  It can be strenuous, challenging, can get your heart rate up there.  So we stopped to rest on the rock croppings at the top of that section of trail and assess how we were all feeling.  We all came to the conclusion pretty quickly that we wanted to continue on and complete the entire 6.7 miles.  Yay!  Let's do it!!!!

Feeling good, feeling challenged, feeling in control, feeling I was up to this! I was looking at this as a victory and I marvel that I can do this.  What a difference two years and a 100 pound weight loss can make!  I knew I would probably have some sore muscles in the morning, but sometimes soreness is good!  Yes, that's what I was thinking and feeling at the time, but there are times when our joy is complete and we are at our zenith that life has a way of handing us some reality.  And that is what happened to me.......

I tripped.  Yes, tripped......over a rock.  And fell.  Fell HARD.  Fell hitting my face unto the ground, eyeglasses striking another protruding rock in front of me. Those eyeglasses probably saved me from hitting my eye or brow on that rock.  Fell so hard, more to the left side, left arm trying to catch me, resulting in a huge gouge at the base of my palm.  The brain's recognition that one is falling is second only to the blinding pain as contact between body and ground is made.  In that instant I knew that I had done some serious damage to my mouth and I was expecting to come up spitting out teeth and bone sticking out from my left arm or wrist.  I am hurt and it's not going to be pretty......yes, that what I was thinking in that split second.

Gabriel, who was actually last in line, was the first to make it to me. Then Carson, and Ed and Olivia.  They helped me roll over onto my back and then sit up.  I was spitting blood, but no teeth.  Instead, there was a huge gash that I can feel with my tongue that runs from the corner of my mouth into the interior, where my upper tooth almost ripped through to the outside of my skin.  Yucky, I know, so forgive me.  Gabe got water, poured it into my mouth and I rinsed and rinsed with the cold liquid to try to get the bleeding to stop.  By then the wrist and arm were hurting - hurting badly.  But the good news was that I could move it, even though there was pain when I did, and I could move my fingers.  Ed dug into his hip pack for antiseptic wipes and band-aides to doctor my palm.  Quick-thinking Gabe retrieved some ice from one of the water bottles, wrapped into Ed's clean handkerchief and I pressed it onto the corner of my mouth, which was already swelling and showing signs of bruising.  My legs felt very shaky and I was wondering if I could even make it back to the parking lot.  We had probably walked an additional half mile, making it two miles back to the parking lot. But I had no choice.....it was no decision, really.  We certainly couldn't continue on for another four and a half miles; the best was to turn back and hike the two miles back making it a round trip of four miles. And I would do it without eyeglasses, considering that mine had a severely bent earpiece and one of the lens had fallen out and was badly scratched.

And so, off we went for our return trip, me with shaky legs and all.  It was hot, bloody hot.  There were times I wondered if I would make the next hill, the next slippery creek crossing.  But made it I did.  By that time, the others were starving, as was I, and I managed to get just a little cold watermelon into my mouth, but not much else.  We made the 45 minute drive back, dropped Gabe and the kids off at their house, and then we headed for Urgent Care.

To make a long story short, I stepped out of Urgent Care with a badly sprained arm (not broken, thank God!) and three stitches on the interior of my mouth.

Oh, and some bad bruises on my face and upper left thigh.

But the worst is the injury to my pride and knowing that I took a perfectly wonderful day of hiking and ruined it with my clumsiness, not to mention the remainder of my long weekend will now be spent nursing mouth, arm and elbow, unable to eat solid food, and my whole body feeling like I have been in an auto accident or slammed into a wall by some unseen force.

Such are the ways with "best laid plans."

But do you want to know the strangest thing?  Despite all the soreness and pain, I would rather have on my hiking boots and be back at Pine Mountain on the trail!  The personal challenge is ON - I'm going back in the very near future to knock out that 6.7 mile Wolfden Loop!  Once thrown, the best thing to do is to get back on the horse immediately and that's what I plan to do.  Conquer or die, which yesterday seemed like a distinct possibility in that split second before I hit the ground.  But I didn't.  So, much like General MacArthur, my message to the trail is: "I will return."

Before "The Great Fall" and I don't mean waterfall!

50 FOLLOWERS REACHED!!!! WooHoo! Chocolate giveaway is CLOSED!

Ok, so I had to "follow" my own blog to get to the magic number of FIFTY!  But at least there are 49 of you out there that are true followers and your names are all going in the hat,  PLUS anyone that has left a comment on the blog EVER, gets extra chances....that's a lot of names!  I have some work to do getting all the names put in, but that darn bag of chocolate is going out to SOMEBODY next week!  I will announce the winner on Tuesday after the holiday weekend is over.  Thanks a million, ladies.  I'll have another goal announcement soon!
 
P.S.  It just dawned on me that I let my 100th post get by without an announcement! ANOTHER reason to celebrate!